“There are two sorts of light. The first is the light that warms the world around us, and the other is the Light that warms our heart and shines from within.” ~ Moi
{Gaian Tarot deck in progress by Joanna Powell Colbert}
Not too long ago my life was put in suspension. I was questioning my purpose. I was questioning my very reason for being to be honest. “Was I making the right decision?” “Was I naive to go so far from what I know?” There comes a time and place for change. Change does not always come easy, because there are always those who get in the way, and hinder your progress for not only a better future, but for a better You. This all directly or indirectly relates to my new moon correspondence to the Hanged Man, which is the twelfth card in the deck. The more and more I look into the tarot, the more I realize is that it actually has psychological implications to the human psyche. The human brain functions in a certain way, and by using the tarot we can all access the deep recesses of our subconsciousness. Because honestly, the tarot is a tool that denotes certain archetypes of ALL of humanity. It’s all there, you just have to put the pieces together, allow the meanings to help you understand what you have to understand in order to figure things out in your own life. It’s all connected. BUT, onward and upward from this blubbery…
As I was saying..the new moon card of the month was a suspended illumination. An illumination of sorts that is befuddling me at the moment. I seem to be on the cusp of something, I’m just not completely certain quite what just now. I sit here wondering, what AM I supposed to do? All around me is the onset of moving. Moving back home to save money for thee trip to a NEW home, a NEW life; yet no one in my family wishes to help in any respect. If anything they are hindering the move almost as if they do not wish for me to leave. Now, this is understandable, however there comes time for every bird to fly away from the community nest, and like I previously stated there comes time where you don’t much like having to explain everything to everyone why you’re doing a certain thing. There comes a time where you don’t much like having to call four to five people at 5:30 in the morning telling them that you are sick and cannot come into work, because you’ve got the flu. There comes a time where you don’t much like anything at all, and really just NEED to GET AWAY!
I sit here continuing this rampage glancing at an Italian mejores recetas pasta book by Linda Doeser, knowing that I’ve to translate about ten recipes for future reference. What else do I have to do today? It’s the last day of school and I called in. I’m away still in this other world, basking in the light of it all. But as I remain suspended for only about another day or so, I see this and that world differently. From my perch above the ground, I see the goings on in life that people pass by everyday. As the blood rushes to every neuron in my brain, I’m flooded with future plans of what can be attainable. It’s all so exciting, yet terrifying at the same time. Still, this moment of illumination is a slow in coming process for me at the moment. Hopefully my muses will come soon, smack me solidly in the cranium, and knock some sense into me allowing for the overwhelming light-bulb effect I’m looking for. Until then, I remain floating, swinging here sipping Indian tea, timeless. Placeless. Homeless. Soulless? I doubt highly in the later, say…Mindless?
